Riggs, Rigging and the Hope Brokers

I used to work with a guy named Riggs at the local butcher shop when I was in high school. Riggs was a middle aged guy with an unhealthy interest in firearms, women to whom he wasn't married and meat. I guess his interest in meat wasn't unhealthy, per se, but he did lose part of a finger in the meat saw once. Anyway, Riggs was also an armchair conspiracy theorist--the kind who was convinced that Big Brother was always looking over his shoulder and that Tupac lived. All things told, I think his time in 'Nam had something to do with the bizarre way he viewed reality. I never took his rants too seriously though, and I often had a good laugh at his expense.

One of the most curious conspiracy theories Riggs held was that EVERY sports game was rigged. The players weren't actually trying to win a game as much as they were following a script. From the fumbled snap to the finger tip catch, every Football game was planned in advance. From the shootout to the headbutt, every Futbol match was crafted by the higher-ups. The strikeouts. The grand slams. All part of some larger plan. Oddly enough, Riggs was still an avid sports (read *Packers*) fan. It seemed to me that the emergence of this theory correlated a little too closely with the Packers' loss to the lowly Colts in 1997. One way or another, the whole idea seemed crazy. If the purpose of sports is not pure, unpredictable entertainment what's the point? After all, who could possibly benefit from such a grand organized system?

The 'Hope Brokers', that's who.

Stick with me on this one. After watching the Twins and the Vikings for a number of years, I think Riggs might be on to something...either that or cheering for Minnesota sports teams has finally gotten the best of my sanity. What else could explain the 'on again, off again' talent of these teams? How else do the Twins look like nation's best team in June and then lose with Liriano on the mound last night? How else do the Vikings lose with Dante calling plays and then burgeon with a 40 year old white guy at the helm?

So here's the deal. I don't think "they" are trying to entertain us, as much as they are selling us a measurable quantity of Hope like it's an addictive substance. That's the reason we keep coming back. Not because we like the Vikings. Not because we like the Twins. Not because we like the Yankees...okay, that one is a given. Rather, it is because we all need something to hope in. And what's great about sports teams is that you can look in the morning paper and see if your hope was realized or held in vain. There's been more vanity than realization with me and the Twins this summer...a bit more more Ecclesiastes than Revelation in that sense. But every morning, I come back like a junkie looking for his fix.

So what if the Twins are 12 games back in the Central? So what if the Vikings have a team full of no-names. I am a man who has plucked Hope from the Tree of Knowledge and eaten my fill; now no amount of morning-after statistics in the paper can cover the shame of my addiction. "They" have lured me into the Hope vaccuum, and I am now a captive consumer of a phenomenon.

So maybe Riggs was right. Maybe he was insane. One thing is for sure--I like the Twins' chances tonight against Cleveland.