What's A Month Between Friends?

As promised, German is finished and I am officially back in the saddle. Unfortunately, the horse is blind and shaped like the letter "U". Oh well, you get what you pay for, I guess. Coincidentally, today's blog is also brought to you by the letter "U". Weird...

I digress...

There really is no better way to get back into the blogging groove than with one of my patented Bits and Pieces episodes. So, for better or worse, here's what I've done/learned in the past month:

1. One of the greatest epidemics facing America today is mumbling. Mumblers can be found just about anywhere, and you can certainly find them at Ebenezer's. A word to the wise--if you insist on mumbling while placing your order, and I respond by asking you to repeat what you just said, IT MEANS I WANT YOU TO ANNUNCIATE THE SECOND TIME YOU SPEAK. Mumbling a second time will only result in me asking what you just said a second time. We could repeat this little game ad nauseum--I really do have all day--or you could put in a little effort and stop placing your order like a primate. Just a suggestion...

-and I'm just getting warmed up!-

2. The German language is crazy. And not the good kind of crazy either. Oh, German, why must your words have 32 letters? Who came up with verbs that have separable prefixes? Why must you place the verb at the very end of the sentence? And, for that matter, why must you write sentences so long they would make Charles Dickens blush?

3. 2008 has been a good hear for music so far. Death Cab for Cutie, Tapes 'n' Tapes, Sigur Ros and Coldplay all have spectacular new albums, and those are just the big names. A host of other, more obscure bands have made my ears very happy this year--amongst them are: Amber Rubarth, Liam Finn, Headlights and Ghost in the Water.

4. Jess and I like visitors. A lot. Have you come to visit us in DC yet? If not, you are running out of time! ACT NOW!! THIS OFFER CAN'T LAST FOREVER!

5. The best movie I've seen in a long time: Lars and the Real Girl. If you haven't seen it yet, put it to the top of your Netflix queue. You won't be sorry. Hopefully I'll get to post something more extensive about this excellent film in the near future.

6. Movie to skip: Prince Caspian. The film version of the C.S. Lewis's excellent book is flaccid from start to finish. It boggles my mind why the director would have departed so much from the book and created motifs that are alien to Lewis's original story telling.

7. I had the privilege of attending Tim Russert's wake last week; Jess and I met his son and wife while we were there. So incredibly sad... He was one of the good guys in a world filled with blathering pundits. NBC won't be the same without him--he was the best in the business and an irreplaceable voice of reason amid the white noise.

8. Has anyone else noticed that the Twins are only 1 1/2 games out of first place? They're far exceeding my expectations for the year. I can't wait until they open the new stadium in 2010.

9. Speaking of sports, I'm happy for Kevin Garnett. It was good to see him get the monkey off his back; though he was well compensated while in the Twin Cities, dealing with Kevin McHale on a daily basis is its own special kind of hell. Congrats, Big Ticket.

10. (HT: Jessica Banti) Be sure to read this excellent and scathing op-ed piece by Thomas Friedman of the NY Times about the insanity of the Bush administration's current energy policy.

11. I confess that I have been regularly listening to NPR's "This American Life" lately. I'm officially an elitist. God have mercy on me...

12. Two of my favorite people came together in one place last week. Click here to see N.T. Wright's appearance on the Colbert Report.

Well, I best be getting to bed. I'm sure there's more to be said, but it will have to wait another day.

Moving On In Stupid Optimism

There was a sporting event last night.

The underdogs won, the seemingly unbeatable titans fell...

Blah, Blah, Blah.

And, even though it was one of the most excitingly competitive Super Bowls in recent memory, the best play of the game (in my opinion) was Eli Manning kneeling down on that final play. Not because it secured victory for the Giants, but because it symbolized and signaled an even greater existential truth:

IT'S BASEBALL SEASON!!!

That's right friends. No matter which MLB team you follow you have reason to cheer--after all, your team is currently undefeated and in first place in its division. Your team is just as likely as any other team in its division to go to the playoffs.

Now, if that sounds like the delusions of a Santana-less Twins fan...it is. I may be grasping at straws here, but I need some kind of hope, and the freshness of a new season provides that for me. So, for all of you 'seam-heads' out there, I got you a little gift to help bide your time between now and the first Spring Training game. You're welcome.

In Which My Sports Related Ire Is Evoked

If this story is true, and I have little reason to believe it isn't, I am angry.

Let's get this straight. We traded the best pitcher in baseball for four guys who haven't seen an inning of major league baseball. And, we didn't even get the best guy that the Mets had to offer.

How could this have happened??!! In December there were packages led by Jacoby Ellsbury, Jon Lester and Phil Hughes. And now we get four no-names that MAY AT SOME POINT be ready for the major leagues?

I'm too upset to type more.

So This Is The New Year...

*strums guitar*

"...and I don't feel any different."

Seriously--how else was I going to start my first post of 2008? Besides, Death Cab for Cutie deserve my advertising--and they've got a new album set to release in May of this year.

Lots of other things to say, many of which could fill a post of their own..but who's got the time? So, without further ado, here's another edition of the Speckled Mind's often-imitated but never duplicated "Bits and Pieces."

1. Jess and I celebrated our five year anniversary yesterday. She makes me happy in ways I can't express in words. My speechlessness should be evidence enough of how remarkable a woman she is.
2. Speaking of Jess, she was typing an email the other day that referenced 'Bethel.' The dictionary didn't recognize that word, and in its place suggested she change it to 'Brothel.' This confirms many of the suspicions I had about the undergrad female dress code while I was employed there.
3. I got a lot of comments on my post about meeting Bono. But none of them funnier than this one from Peter:
   

   tim - i don't know you, i'm friends with matt glatzel. but i have to say that meeting bono is cool, even if you did end you post with some of the worst writing bono's ever done. that's the shittiest u2 song ever.
   

   Well, 'Peter whom I don't know', there were a number of U2 song titles that just didn't make the thematic cut. "Where the Streets Have No Name" seemed silly because it happened on the corner of F and 2nd. "Mysterious Ways" was also a bad choice--Bono seemed like a pretty normal guy. "With or Without You" seemed a bit melodramatic for the occasion. "Sunday, Bloody Sunday" would have been odd because the incident happened on a relatively peaceful Friday afternoon. I could go on and on here Peter. The point is that the title fit the theme I was shooting for, regardless of the song's relative 'shittiness' in comparison to others Bono has written.
   
4. Thanks to all who read and commented on my Best of 2007 music blog. I enjoyed all of your comments immensely and appreciated those of you who took time to craft a list of your own. 2007 was a great year for music; I'm looking forward to many new releases in 2008; among them--Anathallo, Death Cab for Cutie, and Counting Crows (first new LP in 6 years!).
5. I really hope the Twins trade Santana soon so I can get on with the rest of my life. Please, please, please don't blow this, Bill Smith. Please.
6. Speaking of Baseball, The first Twins spring training game is less than 8 weeks away. Not that my favorite squad will necessarily be a contender this year. I'm just glad it's gonna be baseball season again soon.
   
7. I bought a new battery for my laptop while I was in Minneapolis. It makes me smile--I went from 12 minutes of battery life to 5 1/2 hours of battery life.
8. Call it 'Tapas,' call it 'Dim Sum' or call it anything else you like. It's a fantastic way to have a meal. We had tapas with some friends tonight in Alexandria at a restaurant called 'La Tosca' and it was sublime.
9. The Daily show and The Colbert Report are coming back with new episodes (minus their writers, of course) on Monday. As luck would have it, Jess and I get comedy central in our apartment for free. It's good that something is free in this city.
10. Congrats to all my recently engaged friends, including Brad and Christine, Chris and Tara, Andrew and Emily, Rob and Mindy. Seems like a good summer for weddings. I *really* appreciate you all waiting until I moved thousands of miles away to plan an event those events...
11. I hope to do a 'New Year's Resolution' blog sometime soon, so I won't pull back the curtain on those just yet.
    

I guess that'll do for now. If you stop by here and read the posts, I'd love to get your feedback. Just say hello if nothing else. It's good to know who's on the receiving end of these blogs.

Hot Stove Update

Apparently the Red Sox are starting to see things my way.

Ladies and gentlemen, we may be getting a new center fielder from Boston very soon.

And his name won't remind you of a breakfast cereal.

Drop It Like It's Hot Stove

Sports, Sports, Sports, Sports, Sports (consider yourself warned, Brad).

Even though the new season of MLB is three months away, it has been on the forefront of my interests lately. A big part of that is the central place the Twins have in Hot Stove discussions in all corners of the country right now.

Torii Hunter? Gone. Is it a big deal? Maybe not. I'll be very interested to see the kind of numbers Torii puts up this year for the Angels. Usually guys like Torii see a major downturn in production the year after signing a big free agent contract (Copyright Alfonso Soriano). And my guess is that he doesn't make it the whole season without an extended DL stint (ditto Copyright Alfonso Soriano). We'll see about that.

The Twins big trade with the Rays was both surprising and refreshing for long time fans of the club. It was good to see the long time "we don't trade pitching prospects" stance soften under the leadership of new G.M. Bill Smith. The fact of the matter is that it doesn't do you a lot of good to have a team with Santana, Liriano and Garza if you're going to lose every game 2-1 due to a lack of offensive production.

Delmon Young is an intriguing young player...when he's not throwing bats at umpires.

Hopefully he's got that out of his system. I just think it's a beautiful thing to have a young outfielder that has the potential to put up genuinely huge offensive numbers. Not to mention his durability--he's one of the youngest players ever (22) to play all 162 games in his rookie season. Hopefully that will continue. Though, I'm a little worried about him roaming the Metrodome outfield, as he's known to be a below -par outfielder. Hopefully we won't see another Lew Ford style 'giving a fat guy an inside the park homer' situation this year. One of those is enough for a lifetime.

And now on to the granddaddy of Hot Stove speculation--what about Johan Santana? My inkling is that we have seen Santana pitch his last game in a Twins uniform. With the Yankees, Red Sox, Mets, Mariners, Dodgers and Angels all seeking his services, it's likely that one of those teams will do what it takes to land the two-time Cy Young award winner. A few people have asked me if I think it's 'good' or 'bad' that the Twins are going to trade Santana, but I don't think you can put it in those categories. It's just a fact; the Twins often have to trade off marquee players at the peak of their careers because Carl Pohlad is the stingiest billionaire in the country. But it's hard to blame the Twins on this one. Santana will be looking for a deal somewhere in the neighborhood of 6 years/$120 million. That's a lot of coin.

The best trade scenario for the Twins would be to work a deal with the Mets that would bring Jose Reyes to Minneapolis. Mets GM, Omar Minaya, has balked at the idea whenever it's discussed, but that doesn't mean it's out of the question. The fact is, the Mets DESPERATELY need a top shelf starter--far more than any of the other teams listed. I still think it's a very long shot, but anything can happen at the winter meetings next week.

The next best option would be to trade him to the Yankees for Melky Cabrera, Ian Kennedy and Philip Hughes. Not only would that send two great young pitchers to Minneapolis, it would also guarantee that, between Cabrera, Cuddyer and Young, the Twins would have the best stable of outfield arms in all of MLB.

The Boston deal is out of the question unless it includes Jacoby Ellsbury, whom the Red Sox seem completely unwilling to give up. Their loss. If they want the best pitcher on the planet to be a Yankee, their blood is on their own heads.

I guess that's about all for now. The GM winter meetings start on Sunday in Nashville, so the few of you who made it to the end of this post should stay tuned for more information. With any luck, there will be much more Twins news to discuss in the coming days.

Sports Tidbits

For those of you who chastise me every time I post something sports related--do yourself a favor and just stop reading right now. I like sports. Many people who read this blog regularly also like sports. If you don't like sports, repent. There, I said it.

1. In case you just landed on this planet and haven't been watching the NFL, the Patriots are freaking ridiculous. I have never, EVER seen anything like this in professional football. I honestly can't believe there are still people who think the Patriots will lose a game this season. They WILL go 16-0. They will win the Superbowl. Count on it.
2. I'm getting anxious and frustrated by the relative inaction of the Twins so far this off-season. Detroit goes out and signs Edgar Renteria right away. Then today, the White Sox trade for Orlando Cabrera. Meanwhile, it's unlikely we'll be able to sign Torii Hunter or even Carlos Silva. Though, for the money Silva's sure to get, I'm not sure we want him. One way or another, I have a very bad feeling about this off-season for my favorite squad.
3. As a related note to number one--not bad being a fan of Boston sports lately, eh? Kevin Garnett looks pretty good in green.
4. Lay off Barry Bonds. He took steroids during a period when HGH was not illegal in the game. Besides--how many of the pitchers throwing to him were also juicing? It seems ridiculous to make him the whipping boy for a bad era of baseball.
5. Enjoy jail, Michael Vick.
6. Oh, and the Packers are a pretty good football team (just don't tell my wife I said it...)
   

Who But A-Rod? Part 1

Who But A-Rod...

I think that's an antecedent that will become more and more familiar to baseball fans as this winter wears on. In fact, I think I will start a series on this blog dedicated to the inflated ego, inflated numbers and (soon to be) inflated salary of America's favorite love-to-hate guy.

Today's topic: Who but A-Rod could generate this kind of holistic speculation? Nate Silver of baseballprospectus.com ranked all 30 teams in the order of how likely they are to pursue and sign the slugger. It's good writing and is done as a clever metaphor for the 2008 presidential election.

In case you're wondering, my beloved Twins are ranked 28th and placed in the "Mike Gravel/Tom Tancredo no shot in bloody hell" category. It's a shame. We really need a third baseman.

Premature Speculation

What a difference a day makes for my perspective on the Twins. Great win for the boys last night. The middle of the line-up stepped up, the piranhas did their thing, the starting pitching was great and the bullpen was characteristically solid. If wanted to sell you all some hope, as I have been known to do, I would agree with Jim Souhan:

We should be immune to snap judgments during a 162-game season, but when the Twins started the home stand with consecutive losses to Jason Simontacchi and Levale Speigner, they hardly looked like contenders. Two victories later, the perspective has changed: The Twins have yet to get hot, play inspired baseball, call up top pitching prospect Matt Garza or see Johan Santana at his best, and yet they are only 5½ games out of first.

I don't know if it's believable or not. The important thing is that I want to believe it.

The end?

Well, well, well...

It has been a long time, hasn't it. What exactly is it that keeps a person from blogging? Laziness, I think. At least to start with. Shortly thereafter, pure momentum kicks in and the breakneck force of doing nothing becomes irreversible.

I am truly ashamed, which is a response that a number of people have told me is appropriate. So, if I have any readers left--and it's entirely possible that I don't--here is what you've been half-heartedly waiting for.

This will, of course, be another 'Bits and Pieces' post; this time we'll focus on things that have recently ended or will be ending soon:

1. My blogging hiatus. It was...fun while it lasted? I'll try to be more regular. Do they make blogging prunes?
2. The internet. I found it. It was everything I hoped it would be.
3. My brother's losing streak in the North Suburban Church Softball League. Including last year's playoffs, Hope II had lost 29 consecutive games. Their victory this past weekend was a beautiful, beautiful thing. Was it a coincidence that Steve Treichler DID NOT play in that game?
   
4. Inventory. This has been the major reason (read *excuse*) for my absence from this little corner of the blogosphere. It's not a stretch to say that I would rather have two fingers and one of my earlobes surgically removed than do another year of inventory at the Bethel Campus Store.
5. My employment at the aforementioned establishment. August 3rd will be my last day. And, yes, I am counting them down.
6. My time as the music director at Hope Community Church. July 29th will be my last Sunday. I'm already mourning this. Jess and I will greatly miss Hope in our yearlong absence.
7. The Twins playoff hopes...? I hope I'm wrong on this one, but the signs are NOT good.
   
8. My attention devoted to this task.
9. This blog entry.
   

Tut, tut. It Looks Like Snow

For those of you keeping score at home, it's still snowing. We're hovering around 14" outside of my house right now, and I expect over 20" by the time I wake up tomorrow morning. The only thing in Minnesota exceeding the snowfall amounts today was (sadly) Carlos Silva's ERA--a whopping 22.50. Perhaps he was showing sympathy to his home state. That, or he's just a terrible pitcher. Logic and experience force me to lean toward the latter.

I'm soooooo not going to work tomorrow. But it's OK. I have The Departed and Syriana to keep me warm.

In Which My Sports Options Are Limited...For Now

Football season, while still ongoing, has been dead in Minnesota since about mid October. Let's face it, folks--this was about the worst season of Vikings football in Minnesota's history. The worst part is that the future looks about as bright as Ralph Wiggum taking an abstract algebra exam.

But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, friends. Baseball season--and with it the return of our beloved Minnesota Twins--is not as far away as one might think. Twins Spring Training begins soon, with pitchers and catchers reporting in mid February, and the first pre-season game on February 28th vs. Boston.

Now, you may be thinking, "Who cares about spring training?". Well, I do...and you should too. After all, it relieves us all from the dreaded sports dry spell in which our only options are the NBA, the NHL, or...Nascar. And, in case you're like me and need something objective to help you measure how long you will need to endure the aforementioned three sports, I have embedded a handy dandy countdown clock in the sidebar. Who says a music major can't figure out HTML code?

For those who do still care about football--who are you picking to win the Super Bowl? My money--were I a betting man--would be on the Colts. I think Peyton Manning will find a way to get it done this year, despite the America-feel-good-storyline that would occur with a New Orleans win. Step right up and place your 'nothing to gain but bragging rights' bets, folks.

It's October 2nd. Do you know where your Twins are?

Oh, you knew it was coming.

I'm pretty sure I still fall short of the Biblical requirements for a prophet. But, you'd have to admit I was pretty close to accurate in my assessment of the Twins that I gave on the first day of the regular season. And for the record, I have been with them through thick and thin--a fact to which my wife will attest (sometimes with and sometimes without rolling her eyes).

How does one sum up a season this remarkable? The stats speak for themselves, for the most part. The Twins finished first in batting, second in pitching and third in fielding in the American League.

Oh, yeah. And let's not forget first in the A.L. Central. A fact for which we need to thank a host of people. We would like to thank the White Sox for choking. We would also like to thank the Tigers for choking. Probably most of all, we would like to thank the Royals for NOT choking. A bit of luck, a bit of skill. Perhaps more the former than the latter. But either way, our boys are staying home instead of flying to New York. And that is a VERY good thing. A couple of other notables:

• Joe Mauer became the first American League catcher to win the batting title.
• Johan Santana will, without a doubt, win the Cy Young award
• Gardenhire will finish in the top two (with Jim Leyland) and may win the American League Manger of the Year award.
• Justin Morneau will finish in the top three for American League MVP voting (with Derek Jeter and David Ortiz) and DESERVES to win the award
  
• Never before has a team taken over sole possession of first place in a division on the last day of the regular season.
• Santana became the first player to snag the pitching quadruple crown (best in Strikeouts, ERA, Innings Pitched and Wins) since Hal Newhouser in 1945.

I could go on and on. But I won't...right now. Here's the important thing--the first playoff game is tomorrow at 12:00 against Oakland. Whatever you are doing at that point, stop and listen to the game. Cheer. Yell at your radio. Heck, skip work and go to the game. These guys deserve our support.

Oh yeah. Cheer for the Tigers too. They need it right now.

Good Night and Good Luck

Dear Kyle:

What can I say? We've had some good times together, you and I. Oh, wait. I can't say that. Because it would be a lie. And lying is wrong, Kyle.

You know what else is wrong? The way you've pitched in your career with the Twins. Especially this year. With an ERA over 7.00, I didn't think anyone would take you, but fortunately the Reds organization had a little leaguer available that they were willing to give up. I'd say we got the better end of the deal--that kid has got all the potential in the world. In truth, I think Terry Ryan would have taken a sandwich and a dinner roll in exchange for your 'talents'.

I hope the folks in Cincinnatti enjoy your composure, skills and personality as much as we did. Today is a very good day for every red-blooded Twins fan. Oh, and Kyle--don't let the door hit you on your way out.

Good night and good luck,

Tim Johnson

Riggs, Rigging and the Hope Brokers

I used to work with a guy named Riggs at the local butcher shop when I was in high school. Riggs was a middle aged guy with an unhealthy interest in firearms, women to whom he wasn't married and meat. I guess his interest in meat wasn't unhealthy, per se, but he did lose part of a finger in the meat saw once. Anyway, Riggs was also an armchair conspiracy theorist--the kind who was convinced that Big Brother was always looking over his shoulder and that Tupac lived. All things told, I think his time in 'Nam had something to do with the bizarre way he viewed reality. I never took his rants too seriously though, and I often had a good laugh at his expense.

One of the most curious conspiracy theories Riggs held was that EVERY sports game was rigged. The players weren't actually trying to win a game as much as they were following a script. From the fumbled snap to the finger tip catch, every Football game was planned in advance. From the shootout to the headbutt, every Futbol match was crafted by the higher-ups. The strikeouts. The grand slams. All part of some larger plan. Oddly enough, Riggs was still an avid sports (read *Packers*) fan. It seemed to me that the emergence of this theory correlated a little too closely with the Packers' loss to the lowly Colts in 1997. One way or another, the whole idea seemed crazy. If the purpose of sports is not pure, unpredictable entertainment what's the point? After all, who could possibly benefit from such a grand organized system?

The 'Hope Brokers', that's who.

Stick with me on this one. After watching the Twins and the Vikings for a number of years, I think Riggs might be on to something...either that or cheering for Minnesota sports teams has finally gotten the best of my sanity. What else could explain the 'on again, off again' talent of these teams? How else do the Twins look like nation's best team in June and then lose with Liriano on the mound last night? How else do the Vikings lose with Dante calling plays and then burgeon with a 40 year old white guy at the helm?

So here's the deal. I don't think "they" are trying to entertain us, as much as they are selling us a measurable quantity of Hope like it's an addictive substance. That's the reason we keep coming back. Not because we like the Vikings. Not because we like the Twins. Not because we like the Yankees...okay, that one is a given. Rather, it is because we all need something to hope in. And what's great about sports teams is that you can look in the morning paper and see if your hope was realized or held in vain. There's been more vanity than realization with me and the Twins this summer...a bit more more Ecclesiastes than Revelation in that sense. But every morning, I come back like a junkie looking for his fix.

So what if the Twins are 12 games back in the Central? So what if the Vikings have a team full of no-names. I am a man who has plucked Hope from the Tree of Knowledge and eaten my fill; now no amount of morning-after statistics in the paper can cover the shame of my addiction. "They" have lured me into the Hope vaccuum, and I am now a captive consumer of a phenomenon.

So maybe Riggs was right. Maybe he was insane. One thing is for sure--I like the Twins' chances tonight against Cleveland.

Identical or Fraternal?

They play TONIGHT. That's right, your Minnesota Twins open the season this evening at 6:15 against the Blue Jays. And now, a short list of reasons why I am hopeful that this season will end with the Twins in the playoffs:

1. Pitching Staff: Johann Santana is the best starter in the game, and Joe Nathan is amongst the best closers. Pitching has never been the problem for the Twins, and this year looks to be much the same--consistent starting pitching, with solid relief and an untouchable closer.

2. Young Talent: Jason Kubel is back this year from his knee injury. He posted impressive numbers in the preseason. Justin Morneau is also looking like a much better player than he was last year. Joe Mauer is the definition of consistency. I look for him to bat .300+ with 20 homers this season.

3. Something to Play For: Last night, our legislators took the first step toward showing the Twins a bit of support. I'll keep my fingers crossed as the proposal goes to the senate taxes committee.

I mean, sure there are some unknowns at this point. Will Tony Batista hit home runs or strike out with more frequency? Will Torii Hunter return to his All Star status as a hitter and not just a fielder? Will the Twins actually score some runs this year? I think so. I hope so.

The great part about baseball is that it is a marathon, not a sprint. I'm in it for the long haul. I hope you are too.