What's A Month Between Friends?

As promised, German is finished and I am officially back in the saddle. Unfortunately, the horse is blind and shaped like the letter "U". Oh well, you get what you pay for, I guess. Coincidentally, today's blog is also brought to you by the letter "U". Weird...

I digress...

There really is no better way to get back into the blogging groove than with one of my patented Bits and Pieces episodes. So, for better or worse, here's what I've done/learned in the past month:

1. One of the greatest epidemics facing America today is mumbling. Mumblers can be found just about anywhere, and you can certainly find them at Ebenezer's. A word to the wise--if you insist on mumbling while placing your order, and I respond by asking you to repeat what you just said, IT MEANS I WANT YOU TO ANNUNCIATE THE SECOND TIME YOU SPEAK. Mumbling a second time will only result in me asking what you just said a second time. We could repeat this little game ad nauseum--I really do have all day--or you could put in a little effort and stop placing your order like a primate. Just a suggestion...

-and I'm just getting warmed up!-

2. The German language is crazy. And not the good kind of crazy either. Oh, German, why must your words have 32 letters? Who came up with verbs that have separable prefixes? Why must you place the verb at the very end of the sentence? And, for that matter, why must you write sentences so long they would make Charles Dickens blush?

3. 2008 has been a good hear for music so far. Death Cab for Cutie, Tapes 'n' Tapes, Sigur Ros and Coldplay all have spectacular new albums, and those are just the big names. A host of other, more obscure bands have made my ears very happy this year--amongst them are: Amber Rubarth, Liam Finn, Headlights and Ghost in the Water.

4. Jess and I like visitors. A lot. Have you come to visit us in DC yet? If not, you are running out of time! ACT NOW!! THIS OFFER CAN'T LAST FOREVER!

5. The best movie I've seen in a long time: Lars and the Real Girl. If you haven't seen it yet, put it to the top of your Netflix queue. You won't be sorry. Hopefully I'll get to post something more extensive about this excellent film in the near future.

6. Movie to skip: Prince Caspian. The film version of the C.S. Lewis's excellent book is flaccid from start to finish. It boggles my mind why the director would have departed so much from the book and created motifs that are alien to Lewis's original story telling.

7. I had the privilege of attending Tim Russert's wake last week; Jess and I met his son and wife while we were there. So incredibly sad... He was one of the good guys in a world filled with blathering pundits. NBC won't be the same without him--he was the best in the business and an irreplaceable voice of reason amid the white noise.

8. Has anyone else noticed that the Twins are only 1 1/2 games out of first place? They're far exceeding my expectations for the year. I can't wait until they open the new stadium in 2010.

9. Speaking of sports, I'm happy for Kevin Garnett. It was good to see him get the monkey off his back; though he was well compensated while in the Twin Cities, dealing with Kevin McHale on a daily basis is its own special kind of hell. Congrats, Big Ticket.

10. (HT: Jessica Banti) Be sure to read this excellent and scathing op-ed piece by Thomas Friedman of the NY Times about the insanity of the Bush administration's current energy policy.

11. I confess that I have been regularly listening to NPR's "This American Life" lately. I'm officially an elitist. God have mercy on me...

12. Two of my favorite people came together in one place last week. Click here to see N.T. Wright's appearance on the Colbert Report.

Well, I best be getting to bed. I'm sure there's more to be said, but it will have to wait another day.

Hmmm...

I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking, "He was just looking for an excuse to use that graphic. He can't possibly have a relevant reason for posting that (other than it being very, very funny)."

Well, friends, you're only half right in that assessment of my motivations. I was, indeed looking for a reason to use that graphic, and today I hit the relevance jackpot.

Apparently running into internationally renown people is becoming a habit for me. Today, I was minding my own business at work--and who should ask for a large, skim, decaf latte but Rick Warren. Wow. I thought being one of the world's best selling authors would allow a person to live it up a bit more. Maybe Skim and Decaf are the price of fame...

Regardless...

Mr. Warren grabbed my hand, gave it a hearty shake and announced his name to me. The only similarity to my meeting with Bono is that I didn't really know what to say to this guy either--but for totally different reasons. With Bono, I was flat out star struck. With Warren I was just ambivalent. So, I said the only thing that came to mind:

"I enjoyed your interview on the Colbert Report."

He smiled uncomfortably as if to say I had brought up an awkward subject. It seems as if Mr. Warren was feeling some ambivalence of his own. I did, however, refrain from commenting about the 'B-list' guests on the comedy shows these days (with the writer's strike and all). I guess you take what you can get, right? And nothing is more 'purpose driven' than that.

In Which I Forget This Day Ever Happened

Things that happened to me today at work:

• I dropped an unopened gallon of whole milk onto the floor. It broke open and spilled everywhere. And, I do mean everywhere.
• I cleaned up that spilled milk but DID NOT cry over it.
• I had to boot out a bunch of high school kids who, despite management's best efforts to the contrary, insist upon using Ebenezer's Coffeehouse as their lunchroom. I did my best to be civil; but I'm afraid that in the end it came across as something akin to, "YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!!!"
• I got into a brief and bizarre argument with a deaf mute over a large iced tea. I could explain the details of that one, but it wouldn't make any more sense than the one sentence description I just gave.

On days like this I just have to go home, shake my head and remember that tomorrow is a fresh day with fresh possibilities.

I'm Dreaming of A...Complete Overreaction?

Well, friends, it's snowing like crazy here.

And by 'like crazy,' of course, I mean an inch and a half. And they're closing everything. The schools closed at 12:00 this afternoon in anticipation of the inch and a half of snow that would soon arrive. My place of employment had me salt the sidewalks so that 'no accidents would occur.'

Jessica and I may brave the weather and walk down to our local grocery store. There, we will stock up on canned goods and inquire about the possibilities of getting a generator.

Just remember, all ye hardy mid-westerners--these bunch of lightweights are daily making decisions that affect everyone in the world.

Did I mention it's supposed to reach 63 degrees on Monday?

War and Peace

I have to work at 6:30 am most weak days. I'm not complaining. I actually really like my new job. Working at 6:30 means I arrive at the Metro Station at about 6:00. Part of the ritual is that I get my free Washington Post Express paper right outside of the Van Ness Metro and read it on the way to Union Station.

This morning, something in the paper hit me like a sledge hammer. The headline read:

Report: War Costs Total $1.6 Trillion

That is an astonishing figure. The article put it in perspective--that's about $21,000 for every family of four in the US.

The Iraq war's unpopularity is not new--many people probably saw that figure today and weren't a bit surprised. I guess the whole issue of war has become a bit more pertinent for me lately. I'm taking a Christian Ethics class in which we've been considering the viability of a 'just war' philosophy under the lordship of Jesus. One of our texts for the class, Richard Hays' The Moral Vision of the New Testament, argues that there is no such thing as a 'just' act of violence for those who are part of Jesus' new creation. Stanly Hauerwas argues similarly in his text The Peaceable Kingdom.

I have to say I'm becoming convinced. Both texts make a strong case that an ethic of nonviolence is a mandatory part of the Christian life. Jesus way, as both Hauerwas and Hays suggest is that of 'turning the other cheek and going the second mile.'

Hays mentioned that he often gets asked by his students, "What if none of the Christians in America had stood up to fight against Hitler?" It's easily the most frequent question that advocates of nonviolence get asked. After all, is it really 'Christian' to stand idly by in the face of obvious injustice when the only route to peace is some kind of armed conflict? In response to the question Hays, like a good rabbi, answers the question with a question of his own:

"What if none of the Christians in Germany had agreed to fight for Hitler?"

Now, that may seem like the easy way out, but I don't think it is. In fact, I think Hays is deconstructing the false either-or the original question presupposes: Violent Resistance or Doing Nothing. Bono (as cliche as it has become to invoke his name in a blog post) hit on a similar theme in the most recent issue of Rolling Stone:

"Isn't it cheaper and smarter to make friends out of potential enemies than to defend yourself against them later?"

To me, that sounds more like the way of Jesus. And, I think I'll have an easier time in the future explaining to my kids why I'm a pacifist than explaining why our family has paid $21,000 for a senseless, ill-conceived war.

No Coffee Drinker Left Behind

A couple of odd things that happened yesterday at my place of employment.

First I had a midmorning encounter with evil of Tim Lahaye proportions. Around 10:00, I had a customer order three beverages.

Her price total--$6.66

After announcing the cost of the items, she and I joked about it as I made her latte. Then, the next customer steps up to the counter and orders two beverages, a scone and a newspaper.

His price total--$6.66

Two in a row. Now, THAT is creepy. Left Behind Ministries will be investigating the matter shortly.

The other strange bit was the 60 year old gentleman who ordered a mocha and tried to pay with his Starbucks gift card.

"Do you take these here?"

"No, sir, this isn't a Starbucks."

"I know, I just wanted to check if I could pay with it here."

Apparently the person that gave him the card didn't tell him that it was a card for a particular coffee establishment. I honestly think he believed it to be a universal coffee card. Which gives me an idea...

Wouldn't it be great if we had a barcode on or a computer chip implanted in our foreheads that was a universal gift card for coffee? That would be amazing...but would surely prompt another investigation by Left Behind Ministries.

Real Tim of Genius

Well, friends, I've done it. I've landed that big job I've been looking for.

Except, replace "big" with "part-time"...

And replace "job" with "pleasant, paid diversion from studying"...

And replace "looking for" with "stumbled upon"...

There. That looks better.

The truth of the matter is that I am the proud new owner of the title, "Barista." And before you mock me or pontificate on the stereotypical nature of this situation, I have two words for you:

Shut up.

Besides--no matter how well you can say it, someone else has already beaten you to the punch.

Just replace "Master's degree in Art History" with "Master's degree in Theology"...