Hmmm...

I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking, "He was just looking for an excuse to use that graphic. He can't possibly have a relevant reason for posting that (other than it being very, very funny)."

Well, friends, you're only half right in that assessment of my motivations. I was, indeed looking for a reason to use that graphic, and today I hit the relevance jackpot.

Apparently running into internationally renown people is becoming a habit for me. Today, I was minding my own business at work--and who should ask for a large, skim, decaf latte but Rick Warren. Wow. I thought being one of the world's best selling authors would allow a person to live it up a bit more. Maybe Skim and Decaf are the price of fame...

Regardless...

Mr. Warren grabbed my hand, gave it a hearty shake and announced his name to me. The only similarity to my meeting with Bono is that I didn't really know what to say to this guy either--but for totally different reasons. With Bono, I was flat out star struck. With Warren I was just ambivalent. So, I said the only thing that came to mind:

"I enjoyed your interview on the Colbert Report."

He smiled uncomfortably as if to say I had brought up an awkward subject. It seems as if Mr. Warren was feeling some ambivalence of his own. I did, however, refrain from commenting about the 'B-list' guests on the comedy shows these days (with the writer's strike and all). I guess you take what you can get, right? And nothing is more 'purpose driven' than that.

In Which I Forget This Day Ever Happened

Things that happened to me today at work:

• I dropped an unopened gallon of whole milk onto the floor. It broke open and spilled everywhere. And, I do mean everywhere.
• I cleaned up that spilled milk but DID NOT cry over it.
• I had to boot out a bunch of high school kids who, despite management's best efforts to the contrary, insist upon using Ebenezer's Coffeehouse as their lunchroom. I did my best to be civil; but I'm afraid that in the end it came across as something akin to, "YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!!!"
• I got into a brief and bizarre argument with a deaf mute over a large iced tea. I could explain the details of that one, but it wouldn't make any more sense than the one sentence description I just gave.

On days like this I just have to go home, shake my head and remember that tomorrow is a fresh day with fresh possibilities.

"Bluetooth" or "Crazy?"

You know what, friends?

Not everyone who uses a bluetooth headset is as suave or put together as this guy.

In fact, I've been rather confused lately by the lack of distinction between bluetooth users and the completely insane street people of Washington DC.

Now, at first you might think it would be easy to tell if a person is having a conversation with someone over their cellular device or they are schizophrenic.

But I gotta tell ya, these Washingtonians are throwing me for a loop. It's gotten to the point that I can't judge whether it's 'bluetooth' or 'crazy' from a distance of more than twenty feet. And, of course, there is always the very real possibility that the answer to the question is 'both'...like this guy.

Some Days Are Better Than Others

So there I was.

Like any other Friday at 11:40 I was heading home from work, walking through Union Station toward the Metro, when I was stopped suddenly in my tracks.

It was like I had walked into a brick wall.

At first, I thought I was mistaken. Was it really him, or just someone that looked like him? But any doubt in my mind was instantly erased by the sunglasses he was wearing (indoors) and the guitar he was carrying.

"Holy expletive," I thought. "I just walked past Bono."

Seriously, THE Bono. The one, the only. The rockstar, the maker of world peace, the founder of the One campaign. The subject of many, many blog entries by the myriad of crazy U2 fan-boys. So, I did what any self respecting music fan would have done at that point.

I turned around and followed him.

Fortunately I didn't have to stalk him for very long. He was just getting in line at the cab stand outside of Union Station. That's when the debate began. Because, I didn't want to be that guy. You know which one I'm talking about. The one who goes up to a well-known celebrity and makes a complete ass of himself.

And believe me, friends, I have the potential to be that guy.

At first, I decided I would just walk away. Maybe it was enough to tell my friends that I had seen Bono. But then I realized I could never forgive myself if I didn't at least say hello. So, abandoning my fears and throwing caution to the wind, I walked up to the most famous rock star in the world.

I said hello and then told him, "I have a number of friends who would literally kill me if I didn't at least shake your hand."

He laughed, shook my hand, looked into my eyes and said, "Be Well." I thanked him and walked away (with my dignity intact, I might add).

The moments following that meeting are still a bit foggy to me. I think I just wandered aimlessly around Union Station saying to myself (or, possibly out loud--I don't really remember), "Did I really just shake Bono's hand?!"

It was one of the most surreal moments of my life. Words fail me; I'll let Bono take it from here:

Some days you hear a voice
Taking you to another place
Some days are better than others

Christmas Happenings

Hi, friends.

Christmas in DC is off to a very good start. Last night, Jess surprised me by getting tickets to Handel's Messiah at the National Cathedral. The sound was absolutely amazing--transcendent, one might even say. A couple of etiquette issues bear mention though:

First, you cannot possibly whisper quietly enough to be unobtrusive in a venue like this. So...SHUT UP! If you want to talk, go to a bar.

Second, if a concert venue has beautiful natural reverb, DO NOT start clapping until the final chord has completely ceased.

In other Christmas news, Jess and I got our first real Christmas tree. It smells wonderful. It was surprisingly easy to set up and decorate--we got it level in about two minutes. In fact, the only awkward part of the process was loading the tree on top of my Honda and driving it back to the apartment. For those of you keeping score at home, the number of odd things I've hauled in/on my Honda are: a Christmas tree and an Ikea recliner. The latter was a spectacular bit of spacial engineering on my part, if I do say so myself.

And I do.

Oh, one more bit of Christmas related material--I bought my first eggnog of the season. I bought the 'Light 'Nog' version, so as not to die an early death. I hope that, in heaven, eggnog will be fat free. Until then, I will have to settle for the lite stuff as a concession--part of the 'not yet' of the eggnong eschatological tension.

I'm Dreaming of A...Complete Overreaction?

Well, friends, it's snowing like crazy here.

And by 'like crazy,' of course, I mean an inch and a half. And they're closing everything. The schools closed at 12:00 this afternoon in anticipation of the inch and a half of snow that would soon arrive. My place of employment had me salt the sidewalks so that 'no accidents would occur.'

Jessica and I may brave the weather and walk down to our local grocery store. There, we will stock up on canned goods and inquire about the possibilities of getting a generator.

Just remember, all ye hardy mid-westerners--these bunch of lightweights are daily making decisions that affect everyone in the world.

Did I mention it's supposed to reach 63 degrees on Monday?

War and Peace

I have to work at 6:30 am most weak days. I'm not complaining. I actually really like my new job. Working at 6:30 means I arrive at the Metro Station at about 6:00. Part of the ritual is that I get my free Washington Post Express paper right outside of the Van Ness Metro and read it on the way to Union Station.

This morning, something in the paper hit me like a sledge hammer. The headline read:

Report: War Costs Total $1.6 Trillion

That is an astonishing figure. The article put it in perspective--that's about $21,000 for every family of four in the US.

The Iraq war's unpopularity is not new--many people probably saw that figure today and weren't a bit surprised. I guess the whole issue of war has become a bit more pertinent for me lately. I'm taking a Christian Ethics class in which we've been considering the viability of a 'just war' philosophy under the lordship of Jesus. One of our texts for the class, Richard Hays' The Moral Vision of the New Testament, argues that there is no such thing as a 'just' act of violence for those who are part of Jesus' new creation. Stanly Hauerwas argues similarly in his text The Peaceable Kingdom.

I have to say I'm becoming convinced. Both texts make a strong case that an ethic of nonviolence is a mandatory part of the Christian life. Jesus way, as both Hauerwas and Hays suggest is that of 'turning the other cheek and going the second mile.'

Hays mentioned that he often gets asked by his students, "What if none of the Christians in America had stood up to fight against Hitler?" It's easily the most frequent question that advocates of nonviolence get asked. After all, is it really 'Christian' to stand idly by in the face of obvious injustice when the only route to peace is some kind of armed conflict? In response to the question Hays, like a good rabbi, answers the question with a question of his own:

"What if none of the Christians in Germany had agreed to fight for Hitler?"

Now, that may seem like the easy way out, but I don't think it is. In fact, I think Hays is deconstructing the false either-or the original question presupposes: Violent Resistance or Doing Nothing. Bono (as cliche as it has become to invoke his name in a blog post) hit on a similar theme in the most recent issue of Rolling Stone:

"Isn't it cheaper and smarter to make friends out of potential enemies than to defend yourself against them later?"

To me, that sounds more like the way of Jesus. And, I think I'll have an easier time in the future explaining to my kids why I'm a pacifist than explaining why our family has paid $21,000 for a senseless, ill-conceived war.

No Coffee Drinker Left Behind

A couple of odd things that happened yesterday at my place of employment.

First I had a midmorning encounter with evil of Tim Lahaye proportions. Around 10:00, I had a customer order three beverages.

Her price total--$6.66

After announcing the cost of the items, she and I joked about it as I made her latte. Then, the next customer steps up to the counter and orders two beverages, a scone and a newspaper.

His price total--$6.66

Two in a row. Now, THAT is creepy. Left Behind Ministries will be investigating the matter shortly.

The other strange bit was the 60 year old gentleman who ordered a mocha and tried to pay with his Starbucks gift card.

"Do you take these here?"

"No, sir, this isn't a Starbucks."

"I know, I just wanted to check if I could pay with it here."

Apparently the person that gave him the card didn't tell him that it was a card for a particular coffee establishment. I honestly think he believed it to be a universal coffee card. Which gives me an idea...

Wouldn't it be great if we had a barcode on or a computer chip implanted in our foreheads that was a universal gift card for coffee? That would be amazing...but would surely prompt another investigation by Left Behind Ministries.

New Faith Rising

It seems we've found a church.

I can't even express how glad I am that we're done church shopping. For multiple reasons--(1) it's very trying on the patience. And, (2) the term 'church shopping,' being accepted vernacular in America, betrays that the church in this country has been hopelessly co opted by the same materialistic values with which we are called to live in contrast. But I digress...

Ok. About the church--for those who attend Hope--if you can imagine what Hope would be like if it did liturgy, you'd have Church of the Resurrection. They have the same commitment to church planting, to discipleship and they have an eerily similar demographic. Even the building reminds me of Hope (when we met on the U of M campus).

The differences--first, they do liturgy, as I already mentioned. I have to say after being in non-liturgical churches for such a long time, this is a really nice change. Liturgy, when it is done well, does a great job of telling the whole Biblical story every week.

I also really like that they do communion every week. And the way the service is ordered, it serves as the culmination of the time of worship. It's a beautiful thing. Oh, and another difference is the denomination. It is a part of the Anglican church of Rwanda--basically it is an African church plant. According to the pastor (or 'rector') the Anglican church in Africa began to send missionaries to the United States because of the Episcopal church's crisis over the authority of scripture (amongst other issues). According to the Bishop of Rwanda (and I'm paraphrasing here), "During the crisis of genocide in Rwanda, the United States turned its back on Africa. Now, in the spiritual crisis the United states is experiencing, we will NOT return the favor."

Pretty powerful stuff. It really turns the ethnocentric Christianity of America on its head.

That's all I've got for now. Happy Monday, everyone.

Wildlife gone...wild?

I saw this guy today.

And how do I know it was a 'guy', you ask? Quite simple. I'm fairly confident that a female panda would have more discretion than to spread its legs and scratch its genitals for eight straight minutes.

Seriously.

Not that we should blame the panda. I'm pretty sure he was just doing it to spite the guy who had been pounding on the glass for ten minutes, trying to rouse the enormous animal. I could just just hear that inner monologue--"You're tired of me just laying around? You want me to do something? I've got your 'something' right here."

We also saw this, front and center as we passed the turtle exhibit. Some reptiles have no shame. Seriously.

So, all in all it was a good day for a biology lesson....complete with the inevitable question, "What is that turtle doing to that other turtle, Daddy."

...and the inevitable, "They're just playing a little game, sweetheart" response. It was funny.

Oh, and we also saw a lioness eat grass for about ten minutes, and then dry heave for about five minutes. You think it's gross when your cat coughs up a hairball. We could hear her majesty hawking it up from half a mile away.

The Smithsonian National Zoo is only 10 blocks from our apartment, so we'll definitely have to spend some more time there later. Who knows what we'll see next time...

Real Tim of Genius

Well, friends, I've done it. I've landed that big job I've been looking for.

Except, replace "big" with "part-time"...

And replace "job" with "pleasant, paid diversion from studying"...

And replace "looking for" with "stumbled upon"...

There. That looks better.

The truth of the matter is that I am the proud new owner of the title, "Barista." And before you mock me or pontificate on the stereotypical nature of this situation, I have two words for you:

Shut up.

Besides--no matter how well you can say it, someone else has already beaten you to the punch.

Just replace "Master's degree in Art History" with "Master's degree in Theology"...

It's a...nice day to....START AGAIN!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen--Billy Idol.

That might have been a little contrived. But is there really a good way to get back into this after not blogging for almost 4 months? Maybe that's unfair. I didn't blog here for four months. For any of you who missed it and are interested, the blog from our month in Europe can be found here.

There are a host of reasons why I've been absent from this corner of cyberspace, but none of them are particularly blog-worthy. The most important development in all of it is that Jess and I are now living in Washington, DC. It's crazy really. I already have a host of tales to tell, but I'll try to spin them one yarn at a time in the coming days. The most important thing for now is that DC really is a place to, in the words of Mr. Idol, "start again."

Right before I started at the University of Minnesota, one of the orientation speakers told us, "This is one of the few times in your life where you can make a clean break from your past and truly become someone new." It was good advice that caused me to think about the person I was and the person I wanted to become. This week I've felt the gravity of that same opportunity pressing down on me. And, unlike freshman year of college, I'm going to take it seriously this time.

So...I've started exercising. It's been almost a week of running and lifting weights, and tonight was the first time that I felt genuinely energized by the experience. It actually felt good to exercise. I'm also hardwiring study habits and locations--getting into a schedule to ensure that I'm as productive as possible. It's a beautiful thing.

With any luck, I'll be smart and beautiful in a few weeks time.

I guess that's about all for now. I hope I can lure some of my past readers back to me. I promise to make blog writing one of my new areas of concentrated discipline. Should be exciting.